there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It was like getting head from an anaconda
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Two words: blizzard sex
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
