Already got asked if we're dating
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
