this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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