Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
