plz talk dirty to me
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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