my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
