Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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