How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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