so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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