her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
