I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
my liver is dry heaving
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
