Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize