This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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