I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
