It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
