Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
