why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
