i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
