Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize