I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
