38 yer olds are good kisserssss
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
