direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
