Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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