Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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