I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
everyone is single if you try hard enough
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
