then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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