I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
