did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
