Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
