god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
