Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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