I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
