i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I am naked and annoyed.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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