Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I wish there were birth control emojis
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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