Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
