And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
