I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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