I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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