i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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