ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
