you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
