Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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