we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
