he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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