Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
