Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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