I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I deserve this hangover.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
