I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He better not be in your backpack
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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