Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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