Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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