Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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