It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
