I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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