you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize