i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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