I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
