Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
