only you would photoshop your dick
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
