i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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