Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
